Stephen Colbert — Next In Space?
And finally, Venture. I really don’t like this as an option for its own special value, in that it’s basically a synonym for “enterprise” and “endeavour”, both names of space shuttles. Were it that those were actually the names of the other two ISS modules, then — Presto! — we’d have something appropriate. As it is, the name hardly befits something responsbile for life support and recycling, and only works inasmuch as creating the thing itself was a venture for its builders. And in such a case the whole International Space Station should be named Venture, because of its nature as a single massive undertaking by the various member nations responsible for building, assembling, and maintaining it. As for the inevitable capitalist media undertones, well, in keeping with all things owing their existences to Star Trek, Venture was a class of small scoutships which first made its appearance in the movie Insurrection, where it was piloted in the film’s beginning by a Data-on-the-fritz. It was subsequently included in the Star Trek Armada RTS game for the PC as a buildable scout vessel. It was also the name of a Galaxy-class starship that made appearances in the Star Trek series Deep Space Nine, several Star Trek novels, and yet another Trek video game, Bridge Commander. And, as per the usual Trek naming conventions, such spaceships are typically named after actual or former naval vessels. In this particular case, there have been three ships alone in the US Navy to bear the name Venture, and although the last such ship was decomissioned over three decades ago, and the name Venture stricken from the Naval Register, it still makes little sense to bestow a name historically affiliated with seafaring vessels on to what basically amounts to an orbital sewer.
What we have here are really a lot of tactless morons at NASA eager to needlessly expend precious English vocabulary on all their latest toys, without giving any concerns to context, pretext, or the court of public opinion. Star Trek skillfully adapted the naming conventions traditionally reserved for naval vessels, which makes sense in the grand scheme of their uses in military, exploratory, and mercantile applications, as well as, say, their ability to actually travel abroad, some even under their own propulsion. Inducting a celestial septic tank into those ranks by dedicating it with any such name is a terrific waste of good material. Seriously, reserve these names for the kind of technologies that can actually live up to the reputations and service of the vessels that have bourne them, and that are capable of honouring the men and women who have served upon them.
Tags: COLBERT REPORT, CONTEST, EARTHRISE, ISS, MMORPG, NASA, NODE 3, RANT, SERENITY, SPACE, STAR TREK, STEPHEN COLBERT, TL;DNR