Well, I finally got off my broke ass and scooted over to the nearest IMAX theatre to catch the much-anticipated Star Trek reboot, and boy has my tolerance for film that doesn’t even try worn thin. I’m not going to snow anyone; I’m a Trekkie. Been since I was a kid. I was raised on the franchise by my nerd father, and properly instructed in the grand and secretive ways of Star Trek Nerd-dom. I’ve seen all the movies in the theatre save for the first ‘Motion Picture’ — I think; I was 4 at the time, maybe I just don’t remember — watched all the spin-off series and their accompanying films. Never attended any conventions, and I don’t currently own or collect any Trek paraphenalia, so maybe I’m a half-assed Trekkie but I keep up on the history and the mythology — unlike the new Star Trek film, which like every other TV-franchise-to-film reboot to come out in recent years seems to begin with the idea that, Hey, it sucked the first time around, we can do it better now. No, no you can’t. Turning something into an action-soaked milquetoast blockbuster with $50M worth of special effects and CGI and $20M worth of headline talent does not make it better. George Lucas proved this when his most hardcore fans put a fatwa out on him for turning an adult space opera into a Disney-esque fantasy romp.
The Onion indirectly did the Trek franchise justice with this mock entertainment review of the new film:
So, this is probably old news for many people but I was just given this link today and could only watch in rage and disgust:
I shouldn’t really even have to elaborate on how ridiculous this whole idea is. First, stop trying to impede the evolution of the English language with your petty political correctness, censorship, and failed attempts at morality. You’re turning the whole damn language gay. And I mean that exactly in the derogatory sense intended. Why? Because our language is evolving, kiddies – adapting to the frivolous social inequities you yourselves have created.
Sorry, but I’m totally in on this craze, and I could not resist. Everytime I see that damn dog battling the sprinkler, I cackle madly and come close to soiling myself. I was also surprised in a moment of crazed inspiration that no one had done this yet — at least not that I had seen. So here is my custom WHARRGARBL!
So, I’ve been inhabiting /b/ on 4chan a bit lately because it’s undeniably a source of some of the ‘Net’s greatest memes (Caturday, anyone?), and occasionally if you linger long enough you’ll be exposed, amongst many of the horrors of the /b/tards, to some real nuggets of comedy. Well, something to crop up that I only noticed recently, started there or on SomethingAwful, another meme-whoring message board, was this Zalgo — also Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚, The Nezperdian Hive-Mind of Chaos, He Who Waits Behind The Wall, The Singer Of The Song That Will End The World, etc. — an edit being applied to various comic strips and images in the vein of Lovecraftian horror, only funny. And interesting. So I tried to save as many of the images as possible for posterity because they cracked me up like a drunken schoolgirl. Enjoy Zalgo, for He Comes…
